Straight from my mind.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

  • "When I watch you, wanna do you right where you're standing"

    Bluey.
    The snow was nothing, just an obstacle. I don't care, it was worth it. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I like cuddling and dirty jokes. Poke wars. Did I mention cuddling?

    This whole sleep deprivation thing makes my alcohol tolerance go wwaaayyy down. I don't mind.

    I learned how to play golf. I met Kyle. I saw Neil drunk. I downloaded some awesome music. I picked some awesome songs for the playlist. I had one AWESOME round of golf. I didn't mind being a pillow; truly I enjoyed it. I liked the cuddling most of all. I like when I can find the niche in a guys' shoulder where my head rests perfectly and it's the most comfortable thing in the world. I like the tickle of a guys' breath on the back of my neck. I like laughing. I like to 'gaze' into their eyes. I like to wonder what they are thinking. I hate wondering what they are thinking. I like guys' big forearms and hands. I like shoulder blades, wrists and collar bones. I like having my arms around someone. I love the feeling. I even love that I probably had a huge cheesy smile when this all happened. I like intertwining my body with his. I like intertwining my fingers with his. I like when he kissed my cheek and my forehead. I like that he didn't make me get up. I like that he covered me back up and cuddled more. I like that he subtly made me get up. I like that he gave me a really good hug. I like his pretty blue eyes. I like that feeling.

    That feeling. I could go for that anyday.

    He complimented my taste in music. He likes The Spill Canvas & The Fray & Jack Johnson & The Killers & LUDO. :)

    I don't care about my shitty night anymore, remembering this makes me happy.

Monday, 16 February 2009

  • akdjadflks
    I'm bored.
    && lonely.
    Who'll save me from this scary abyss that is working too much and going to school and having no time?

    I'm lost and insecure.
    I'm waiting for you to tell me that you need me.
    Waiting for you to come along.
    To save me.
    I invest all my time into school and work.
    I wish that you'd come along and tell me you want my company.

    I posted a "note" on facebook. About how I was lonely..
    && Katie and Katy just bitched @ me. Fuck them.
    They think that it's my fault.
    My fault! Ha. Kadis totally killed our friendship.
    Katie.. Just wasn't it. Was not opening up and letting me be a friend.

    Whatever.

    It's MY FAULT.
    Thanks. ASSHOLES!

    I'm so sick of being blamed for failing friendships.

    It's not my fault. Deal.

    I'm over it.

    If you don't want to put forth effort I won't either.
    FUCK YOU.

    I'm angry.

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

  • Currently
    In Ghost Colours
    By Cut Copy
    see related
    I feel much better being in school.
    I get to design.

    Hopefully I get my shit on some shirts soon.
    I sent my design to Scenic Clothing :)
    He wants a design for a girls shirt so I'm gonna work on that.

    I've been cranking out projects like nothing lately.
    I was a lil stuck on this food bank mailer but I had a stroke of genius and now it's all done cept for this barcode I need to create.

    I gotta work on that t-shirt design/some homework.

    So, that's all for this update.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

  • Our work steak party was fun. I felt outta place though.. I couldn't drink.

    I brought blue powerade/blue uv though. :) But it wore off before dinner and I was back to sober.

    [side note: I LOVE SEABEAR!!!]

    After work party I went to some hotel that Katie aka New friend invited me to. I knew Kadis was going to be there... I didn't know it was her little "after birthday". Fuck. I didn't have a swimsuit.. Apparently they forgot to mention that I should bring one. I drank a vodka/redbull. They decided they wanted to swim.

    We got down there. I got elected camera bitch. So I sat there daydreaming and not paying attention and just taking random ass pictures. Then I called Matty. I wanted to get outta there. We were talking and Kadis is like who ya talking to and I'm like Matt.... and she's like !!"tell him I say hi!" so I do. Matt says something ridiculous. I go Matt says hey!... lolz. Then she goes into some stupid story about how she had a crush on Matt.

    Bah.

    We went back up to the room. And by this point my head is fucking pounding. We played some Apples to Apples which sucked cuz I have a sense of humor. Finally I'm just like dude I have a fucking terrible headache. and they're like oh I have this and that and this....and I'm like... That makes me sick... -it doesn't I just didn't want to be there....

    Terrible night. Fuck Kadis. Stupid bitch. Ugh. And she was talking about some friend of hers that apparently like ditched her and got a new friend... I was like... Oh, hmmm....didn't you do that to someone?? Oh maybe me... FUCK.

    Whatever.

    I've got Matt and Sara and Bri and Ava.

    Whatever happened to never stopping being friends Aambur?

Thursday, 22 January 2009

  • Currently
    The Ghost That Carried Us Away
    By Seabear
    see related
    I'm so sick of everything.

    It's not my fault.
    You've changed.
    You're not the same. Why should I have to deal with this? I'm not perfect; I never will be.

    Why do you confide in someone you barely know?
    Why is it my fault?
    How isn't it yours?
    I didn't make you the way you are.

    I'm the way I am.

    I'm just floating along; that's what I do. I just keep on trucking.

    You don't know me. Basically at all. No one does.
    People know bits and pieces.

    You can't get inside my mind.
    Feel what I'm feeling.
    I'm FUCKING CRAZY. as they like to say, since I'm bipolar.
    I've got basically no money. I work 32 hours a week and go to school about 25ish.

    Florida was a good break from drama.

    I don't like drama.
    And that's all you are lately.
    DRAMA!
    We all have problems too.

    Don't blame it all on me.
    I don't make your decisions.
    I don't set your schedule.

    I've got to work on stuff now and listen to Seabear.

Thursday, 02 October 2008

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

  • I wish people wouldn't tell me they would call me later if they truely never intend to. I wish people wouldn't say wanna hangout later and then make plans with someone else. I wish I was a better person and could just forget this all and not let it get to me. But this is all the stuff that bugs me and makes me sad.

    On the upside, I have bright pink nails now.

  • Blah blah blah.

    Haven't said anything in these thing in forever. I've got to update this more often. I'm going to go read now.

Thursday, 14 February 2008

  • This is how it goes:

    You both need to shut the fuck up; I'm over it; it's not flattering. At least not from this girl's perspective; I hate Valentine's Day I told you; why would you get me something? Fuck. I can't take this I need this drama to be done; over; out; gone. I think my best option at the moment is to break up with Xack; that way I can go be single and then no one can be pissed off because of who I'm dating.

    I don't want this anymore; I'm over it. I can't take it; done.

    I'm saving myself before I fall to pieces. At this point in time in my life I need solidarity; that would be my friends; I don't want to deal with relationships at this time so I'm over it. I just have to wait a while I can't break up with him on Valentine's Day. Ugh.

    Straight from the mind of the girl name Maegan Elizabeth. 

Sunday, 10 February 2008

  • Pessimistic.
    Here's my random nonsensical ramblings for the day....
    Religion is bullshit; you believe in GOD; who is a figment of your damn imagination. There is proof that Jesus once existed, he doesn't anymore! Why the hell is a good portion of the population believing in something that cannot be seen, heard, smelled etc.  I have been wondering about "God" and the afterlife for much of my nineteen years. Why is it necessary to believe in such a person? I cannot understand why peoples lives are built around an imaginary figure; I just don't understand. There are so many books about "Jesus", "God" and all the different types of religion. I do not get why such a large portion of the population has to rely on this bullshit.... Don't even try to get me to become part of yor church or religion; I will throw a hissy fit and tell you that you're dilusional.

    Next topic...
    The next president.
    Hilary Clinton will NOT win; give it a good thinking about... Who truthfully is going to vote for woman? All the men are too proud to have a woman president. Despite the fact that it's a new age who will vote for a black president? I'm sure he'll get some votes but O'bama underestimates the number of dumb white folk laying around the U.S. who are all saying "HELL NO" to a colored president. Despite the fact that we don't have slavery anymore there is still A WHOLE LOT of racism to this day; and I will call bullshit on you if you try to lie and say you're not racist.

    Education:
    Bush is raising the number of high school graduates; yes, but it's only because the standards are being lowered in school. Go look at any damn school everyone is getting horrible education, we say they're educated but it's all bullshit.

    Hey, it's ok we're all living a lie.

    I'm done.